Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A battle lost before it's even begun....

The misery parents can cause is unbelievable. As a matter of fact, the misery FAMILY can cause is unbelievable. Even when they are beyond wrong, and you are right, your still wrong. Almost every battle you have with them is a losing battle, even when they are being ridiculous or unfair, which is quite often. They have the power. They have the control. And you have none. Even when you deserve some.

You maintain good grades. You don't do underage partying. You don't smoke. You don't do drugs. You don't have sex. You don't even sneak out of the house. You are kind to others and smile at strangers.

Isn't this reason enough for them to hand you some power?? Even if it's a little?? Even when they admit they know these things about you and your wise choices?? What right do they have to tell your almost 18 self how to dress when you could be out there getting stoned instead? What right do they have to forbid you from seeing a friend because your room is messy, when you could just choose to slip out at night, but don't because you know they trust you not to. Its just not fair. They should be more understanding. Especially seeing that they were once in your place not too too long ago. But they don't. It's a hopelesss hope.


Your like a dream
A sweet sweet dream
Your too good to be true
You don't exist

It's all in my mind
It's all in my head
Any moment I'm gonna wake up and you aren't gonna be there.
Any moment I'm gonna reach out my hand to your face,
and your gonna dissapear into thin mist.

Theres just no way.
I'm actually....happy?
Because of....a boy?
A sweet sweet boy?

But I was destined for unhappiness
I was destined for blankness,
for emptiness.

So why me?

Your such a blessing.
I fear its gonna end.
All things good must come to an end.
Or so they say.
Lets hope they're wrong.
Just wrong wrong wrong.

I've just never felt this way.
And I hardly understand it.
And I'm ready to embrace it.
Even if it might scare me.

It may only have been a month.
But this is how I feel.

It may be a bit fast.
But this is how I feel.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Grow Old with you.
And I hope you feel the same.
Because baby, this is true love I feel.

I wrote this a little more than a month ago, when things were less serious between me and him, but I had just discovered my feelings and was pondering them. I think we had already established that we were in love with each other, but the love was so new, and we still barely knew each other. So I was afraid to post this on myspace. Now it has been a little more then two months and we are UNBELIEVEBLY close. It's been the two most happiest months of my life. And I thank God every day for him.